


Collapsing Rides are Part of the Charm

by upsetslingshot



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humour, I hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 20:37:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16249334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upsetslingshot/pseuds/upsetslingshot
Summary: Out in a UK city in the middle of nowhere for reasons nobody will let Larry tell, the museum gang run into a travelling funfair, and who can resist a funfair. Because these guys certainly can’t.





	Collapsing Rides are Part of the Charm

**Author's Note:**

> So the local travelling funfair is back and every year I really want funfair fics to start spreading up. So I decided, 'hey I can do it myself!', so I have.
> 
> I was also originally going to call this ‘That Ride WILL Break and Other Home Truths about the Funfair that You Should Really Know’ but that was too long.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy

“Hey, Dad, why are we here again?” Nicky asked as Larry drove the museum van down a main street next to a very wide river. “I mean I can guess why we came back to the UK but why are we all the way up here?”

 

“Oh, yeah.” Larry said, suddenly realising that he’d never actually explained why they needed to go outside of London. “Well, we have to-” but he was cut off as the table began to glow and the exhibits came to life.

 

“Hello, Laurence, Nicolas.” Teddy said, as he came leaning over the front chairs. “Where abouts in London are we?”

 

“No, we’re not in London. Actually nowhere near it” Larry said. “McPhee asked us to come up to-” but he was again interrupted this time by Ahk banging on the lid of his sarcophagus. Attila undid the straps holding the lid down and Ahk pushed his way out of the coffin. As soon as he pulled off the bandages covering his face he shot a smile at the others.

 

“What were you saying, Larry?” Wea asked as Ahk and Attila started to remove the rest of Ahk’s bandages.

 

“Yeah,” Larry tried again. “We’re here to-” only to be interrupted once again by either Ahk or Attila accidentally hitting the side of the van while trying to unwrap Ahk.

 

“Are you two alright back there?” Larry asked, not taking his eyes of the road.

 

“Yes.” Both Ahk and Attila chorused.

 

“Them?” Jed piped up from somewhere in the back of the van. “What about us? Attila, watch it, you nearly crushed us.”

 

Attila laughed and apologies.

 

“Well anyway,” Larry said, louder this time. “The reason why we’re here is-” but he was once again cut off, this time by Nicky.

 

“A carnival.” Nicky said suddenly, pointing at a passing sign advertising a local funfair.

 

“And it’s open now.” Wea said.

 

“I don’t think we can really go.” Larry said.

 

“Oh come on, Laurence, I think we should all take some free time whilst we’re here.” Teddy said.

 

“Yeah, but McPhee asked us to-” Larry said only to be once again interrupted by the exhibits chanting “carnival, carnival, carnival.”

 

“Okay, fine, but if we get into trouble you’re all explaining it to McPhee.” Larry relented. “Where is it?” He asked Nicky.

 

As Nicky brought up some directions Ahk picked up the tablet.

 

“Jedediah, Octavius, I think I can use this to temporarily make you our size.” He said.

 

“What,” Jed exclaimed. “Oh, no no no. No offence, Ahk, but ‘I think I can’ doesn’t inspire confidence.”

 

“We all watched Ant-Man, messing with size physics can go horribly wrong.” Octavius said.

 

“Yes, but on the other hand you won’t be able to go on any rides.” Ahk countered.

 

Jed and Octavius looked at each other before:

 

“You make a compelling argument.” Jed said.

 

“I believe we accept your offer.” Octavius added.

 

“Alright.” Ahk said.

 

“Look all I looked up was directions how to get to the museums, not anywhere else.” Larry said as he quickly changed lanes as per Nicky’s instructions. They passed a bus station and shopping centre before turning onto a rammed street.

 

“Oh yeah, what is that for anyway?” Nicky asked again.

 

“Look,” Larry tried yet again. “Director McPhee asked us to-” There was a loud bang from the back of the van.

 

Larry swerved and slammed on the brakes. The cars around them blared as the van ground to a halt.

 

“What was that?” Larry said, whipping around to the back of the van. Jed and Octavius were fully sized leaning, dazed, against the size of the van.

 

“Woah, Ahk, I didn’t know you could do that.” Nicky said, peering over the chairs to examine the two now fully sized miniatures.

 

“I’ve never practised that before.” Ahk said. “I’m really glad that worked and didn’t just killed them instantly.”

 

As more cars bleeped at them Larry set off again.

 

Nicky turned back to his phone. “Go straight ahead at the lights.”

 

“Is this how you see everything?” Octavius asked. “It’s all really small.”

 

“Yes, I image it all would be.” Ahk said.

 

“Right guys, I think we’re going to park up and walk.” Larry said.

 

“Excellent, I suppose we’ll have to follow the crowds.” Teddy said.

 

Whilst Nicky showed Larry the surrounding area to find where to park, Ahk made sure that his crown was secured in his sarcophagus then added Octavius’ helmet when he was handed it. The others also quickly established that they didn’t want to risk losing their hats and handed them over too.

 

“Remember you can’t take your weapons.” Nicky reminded them. Begrudgingly Octavius and Attila handed over their weapons.

 

“You too, Jed, guns are illegal.” Larry said.

 

“They don’t even fire.” Jed argued.

 

“They still look pretty realistic.” Nicky pointed out though.

 

Jed grumbled and handed over his guns to Ahk who stored them all in his sarcophagus.

 

“Here, I’ll keep the tablet in my bag.” Nicky said. Ahk handed him the table and Nicky secured it in his backpack, misaligning the pieces first to make sure nothing else came to life.

 

As Larry parked up he turned to the back of the van. “Alright, now everyone, some ground rules. 1:-” but everyone was already getting out of the van. “Hey!”

 

“We can guess what they are.” Wea said. “Stay together, don’t get into trouble, keep an eye on the time etcetera.”

 

“Yeah, but I’m looking after you I still have to tell you.” Larry argued also getting out the van.

 

“Don’t worry, Dad, I’ll keep an eye on them.” Nicky said.

 

Larry sighed and locked the van. He hurried after the exhibits, making sure that Jed and Octavius was okay as they adjusted to their new heights.

 

They soon reached a crowd of people as they passed a graveyard.

 

“Follow them?” Wea asked.

 

“Follow them.” Nicky agreed.

 

As they joined the crowd some of the people shot them strange looks, probably because of their clothes.

 

The crowd came to a halt and Jed and Octavius stumbled over, grabbing hold of each other to stop themselves from falling over completely. The pair laughed as they straightened up.

 

“You people all have really long legs.” Jed said, “how do you stand this high up?”

 

A train went flashing by and the crowd started to move as a barrier was lifted.

 

“Oh look, there it is.” Teddy said, pointing up at a ride swinging through the air.

 

“Oh, I am going to go on all of these rides.” Nicky said.

 

They passed a merry-go-round and entered the main street  and was hit almost immediately by the smell of the street food cooking.

 

“What does everyone want to go on first?” Larry asked.

 

“Big wheel.” Ahk said.

 

“One of those spinning things.” Wea said.

 

“I wanna go on that ride we just saw.” Attila said.

 

“I want to go on that!” Jed said, pointing at a ride which was a giant ball being launched up into the air by elastic.

 

Larry followed the giant ball as it started to come back down to earth at an extreme speed. “Jed, that was probably only built in like, half a day. It’ll probably break down with you on it.”

 

“That’s all part of the charm.” Jed said.

 

The group started to move past the street and into the rides. There was large puddles which took them a while to dodge with all the other fair-goers. As they passed ghost rides Jed craned around to keep the bungee ride in his sight.

 

“Oh look, spinning ones, those are the ones I want.” Wea said, pointing at one of the rides.

 

She grabbed hold of Teddy hand and pulled him towards a twister.

 

“Hey, wait, you don’t have any money.” Larry called out to them, having to hurry as the others also made a beeline to the ride.

 

“I think you pay on the ride.” Teddy said as they reached the barriers.

 

“Hold on.” Larry said before digging around in his pockets for his wallet. He handed them some money and the ride came to a halt. “Here you go, enjoy.” As the last riders got off and the barriers were removed the exhibits got on and decided on where to sit.

 

“Did you want to go on it?” Larry asked Nicky, who was hanging back.

 

“Nah, not this one too much.” Nicky said, watching the exhibits as they paid and settled down in their selected carriages.

 

Eventually the ride filled up and staff came around to push the bars down. Wea and Teddy beamed and waved at Larry and Nicky who waved back as the ride set off.

 

As the ride picked up speed dry ice started to shoot into the air, flashing with the lights.

 

The ride hit it’s maximum speed and the centrifugal force sent Jed slamming into Octavius. Octavius laughed and threw his arm around Jed, securing him to his side. In another carriage Ahk and Attila were howling with laughter. Ahk was grabbing hold of the bar to stop himself from being thrown into Attila. Wea and Teddy were giggling as the lights started to flash faster.

 

“Make some noise!” A voice shouted over the speakers.

 

The ride screamed and and Ahk waved as they flashed past Larry and Nicky. However in doing so he finally lost his grip on the bar and crashed into Attila’s side.

 

“Oh, sorry Attila.” Ahk said. Attila just laughed and hugged Ahk.

 

“They’re having fun.” Nicky said as the exhibits went flying by.

 

“Yeah,  that’s good.” Larry said, blinking repeatedly as the dry ice swarmed them.

 

The ride started to slow down before finally coming to a halt. Once the staff came to release them Jed and Octavius unwrapped themselves from each other and jumped down from the carriage. Teddy helped Wea down and the exhibits exited the ride.

 

“How was that?” Nicky asked as the exhibits got off, breathless.

 

“Exactly like Jedediah’s driving but without the threat of crashing.” Octavius said.

 

“Hey!” Jed shouted but was overcut by Ahk.

 

“I want to go on more.”

 

“Yeah, same.” Wea said.

 

“Does anyone want to go on the bungee ride with me?” Jed asked.

 

“No.” Everyone said in unison.

 

“How about the Big Wheel?” Teddy suggested.

 

“Yes!” Everyone once again said in unison.

 

The managed to make it to the Big Wheel and joined the queue.

 

“I’m gonna win you a present, Ock.” Jed said.

 

“Oh, are you?” Octavius said, brushing Jed’s hair.

 

“Of course,” Jed said. “Do you doubt me?”

 

“I try not to.” Octavius laughed.

 

Ahk shivered as the wind picked up. Attila shrugged off his coat and placed it over Ahk’s shoulder. Ahk smiled at Attila before half covering his face in the fur.

 

They eventually moved up to the ticket stand and Larry paid for them, Nicky adding for his own ticket. They joined the next line and quickly moved to the front.

 

“Does it stop or do we just get on?” Ahk asked.

 

“I think we just get on.” Larry said. As they reached the front of the queue they discovered that was true as the people in front of them jumped on to the next available carriage.

 

“How many is there?” The man at the front of the queue asked.

 

“There’s 8.” Larry said.

 

The man shrugged. “Ride only seats 5, but hey, whatever, you can all go on if you want.”

 

“Oh, perhaps we’d better split up-” Larry started only to be interrupted by Jed.

 

“Nah, that’ll be good for us.”

 

“Okay,” the man said, “next available carriage.”

 

They waited until some of the fair-goers got out of a carriage and the man motioned them through. “Have a good night, don’t get stabbed.”

 

“What?” Larry said but was pushed forward by Wea.

 

“Come on or we’ll miss the cart.” She said.

 

They all piled into the carriage and another staff member locked the door.

 

“What did that guy say, ‘don’t get stabbed’?” Larry asked.

 

“I doubt we’ll get stabbed, Dad.” Nicky said. He had taken a seat by the door next to Jed and Octavius who had immediately settled with Octavius sitting on Jed’s lap.

 

“We can just stab them back.” Attila said, grinning to try and calm Larry. He then pulled Ahk down to sit on his lap, giving Larry some space to sit down. The carriage rocked and Larry turned to look at the rest of them.

 

“Please don’t move anyone.” He said, strained as the creaking of the machinery became apparent above them.

 

“It’s okay, Larry. When it breaks there’s a good chance we’ll be over the water ride.” Wea said, who was currently stood looking over the gate that made the door. “So we should be good and survive.”

 

“Please don’t say ‘when it breaks’, Wea.” Larry said.

 

Soon they reached the top of the wheel and could see the entirety of the fair, flashing strobe multi coloured light into the sky.

 

“Okay, this carnival a lot bigger than I thought it’d be for a city like this.” Larry said.

 

“Yes, it’s the biggest travelling carnival in all of Europe.” Nicky said as he snapped a photo of the fair.

 

“Look at it,” Jed said, pointing out at the fair. “Isn’t it wonderful.” Off in the distance the bungee ride shot into the sky. “And if we don’t die on this, then chances are we won’t die on that.”

 

“I’m not going on that with you.” Octavius said much to Jed’s displeasure.

 

As the big wheel finished its decent Larry let out a sigh of relief. “Finally.” Only nobody came to open the gate. “No, we get two goes around?” Larry cried.

 

As the carriage started to raise again the creaking of the machinery started to die down. That was until Wea found out you could spin the carriage. The second go around ended up being a lot more shouty than the last one.

 

The carriage came to the ground and a member of staff opened the gate, encouraging them to hurry up. Larry and Octavius shot out followed the by the rest of them who were cackling gleefully.

 

As they walked away from the wheel Jed suddenly took a sharp turn and headed in the direction of a shooting game. Well, a water pistol game anyway.

 

“Ock, baby, what do you want?” He asked as the rest of the them turned up.

 

Octavius looked at the prizes before settling on one. “Giant tiger.” He said.

 

“What do I have to do to win a giant tiger.” Jed asked the woman behind the counter.

 

“Get a score of 1200 or higher.” The woman said.

 

“Ha, easy.” Then Jed put down change from the twister and the woman gave him a water pistol. He then took aim at the targets and easily hit them, peppering holes in the tracing paper serving as the scoring. Once he ran out of water he put the pistol down and smiled at the lady.

 

“1340, congratulations sir, you get a tiger.” The lady handed a tiger over. Jed turned back to Octavius.

 

“And you thought to doubt me.” Jed said. “I said I could do it.”

 

“I said I try not to doubt you.” Octavius laughed.

 

Jed brought the giant tiger up to his face and said in a mock voice. “And you shouldn’t doubt Jedediah.” The ‘tiger’ said. “When Jedediah says he’s going to win a prize for his boyfriend, that what he goes and does.”

 

“Okay, Mister Tiger, I see you’re proof of that.” Octavius took the tiger from Jed’s hands and hugged it to his chest. “When this comes to life it is going to get so much head scratches from its two best parents.”

 

Over at the other side of the street Teddy had also paid to play a game. This one, darts. He threw his 5 darts and managed to stick everyone.

 

“Well done,” the man at the counter said. “You get to choose whatever you want.”

 

“My dear,” Teddy said turning to Wea. “Is there anything you want.”

 

“I think we all deserve a big toblerone.” Wea said, eyeing the huge stack of them.

 

The man handed over a big toblerone and they moved back to the rest of the group.

 

“You got a big Toblerone.” Nicky said as Wea carried it over her shoulder like a bat. She beamed at him.

 

“And you’ve got… a tiger.” Larry said towards Octavius.

 

“We’ve just to think of a name for it.” Octavius said, already looking adoringly down at the plush animal.

 

“Where should we go next?” Ahk asked as he stroked the top of the tiger’s head. They began to walk further into the rides.

 

“Something nice and relaxing.” Larry suggest.

 

“Something like that.” Wea said, pointing. They all followed her direction until it took them onto a waltzer.

 

“Oh yes, very relaxing.” Larry muttered as the rest of the them made a beeline to it. “Yeah, okay, great. I’m not going on that.”

 

“Yes, I don’t think I want to either.” Octavius said as the ride went speeding by.

 

“Look after this then, Dad.” Nicky said, handing his backpack over to Larry whilst Wea gave her big Toblerone over to Octavius.

 

The waltzer started to empty and the rest of the group got on. Once they got on a member of staff came round and secured them into the carriage once they’d paid. It was only as the ride started to move that Ahk muttered quietly, “oh, this was a bad idea.”

 

Larry, meanwhile, was watching Octavius pet the head of the plush tiger.

 

“Ock, you’ve never had a pet before.” Larry said.

 

“Yes, but this tiger is very small, it’ll probably only be a cub.” Octavius replied. “And besides, I’m not going to be looking after it by myself.” He added, squeezing the plush animal.

 

Larry stared at Octavius, images of the General being mauled flashing before his mind. “Okay, Ock, if you say so.”

 

Back on the ride, Ahk had the bar in a death grip, head slumped down, really trying not to throw up. Wea, Teddy and Jed were laughing as the ride whirled. One of the staff came over to them and span the carriage even fast and Ahk trembled and gripped the bar even hard as he was pushed back further into his seat.

 

“Ahk,” Nicky shouted over the music, trying to lean over the others to get to Ahk. “Ahk?” When Ahk didn’t respond Nicky then tried to tell the others, “I think Ahk’s knocked out.” The others didn’t hear him.

 

A voice was shouting something over the speakers but Ahk didn’t hear what they were saying, instead choosing to focus on not throwing up.

 

Well he didn’t miss everything.

 

He did hear the the voice over the speaker go, “oggy, oggy, oggy!” followed by Attila screaming “Fuck off!”

 

The ride eventually came to an end and Ahk lifted his head to take a gulp of air.

 

“Ahk!” Nicky shouted. “Ahk, I thought you were unconscious.”

 

“I’m gonna be sick.” Ahk groaned.

 

As soon as the bar was lifted Ahk shot from the ride. As he reached Larry and Octavius he stopped and took several deep breaths as he trembled.

 

“You alright, Ahk?” Larry asked.

 

“Felt sick.” He gasped. Attila had appeared by his side and Ahk latched onto him.

 

“Are you going to throw up?” Larry asked as Attila ran his hand up and down Ahk’s arm.

 

Ahk took another deep breath and shook his head.

 

“Hey, Ahk, are you good?” Nicky asked as he and the other arrived. Ahk gave them a shaky thumbs up.

 

“Alright then, shall we take a slow walk to the food stalls?” Teddy asked. The other nodded and they took off, Ahk holding on to Attila tightly.

 

Wea took back her big Toblerone from Octavius and petted the head of the stuffed tiger whilst Larry gave Nicky his backpack back.

 

“Do you have a name for it yet?” Wea asked.

 

“I’ve been thinking but nothing yet.” Octavius said. “Any ideas, Wea?”

 

They made it back to the street, once again passing by the bungee ride. Jed turned his head to keep it in his sights until they stepped onto the street.

 

“Does anyone actually want anything to eat?” Larry asked.

 

“I’m going to get some doughnut.” Nicky said. “I bet if we had any actual food we’d get food poisoning.”

 

“I really want to get some of those laces.” Teddy said.

 

“Oh, trdelník.” Attila said.

 

“Okay, fine, if we split up you have to promise me you’ll be back here in half an hour.” Larry said.

 

“I’ll come get a trdelník with you.” Octavius said to Attila.

 

“Let’s go get you some laces.” Wea said, shifting her grip on her Toblerone and nudged Teddy until they took off down the street. Nicky drifted off down the opposite end of the street.

 

“Are you still okay?” Attila asked Ahk.

 

Ahk nodded. “Yeah, let’s go get your thing.”

 

The rest of them left and Larry was left stood in the middle of the street. “Okay, I’m going to get some cotton candy.” Larry muttered to himself.

 

By the time Larry had bought his candy floss he could still see Attila and Octavius stood by the Czech stall.

 

Larry wandered over to them and saw Jed with his arms full of a plush tiger and Ahk warming his hands near the open fire.

 

Octavius and Attila were chatting in a language Larry didn’t understand but quickly figured out was Latin.

 

“Attila, I didn’t know you spoke Latin.” He said when he finally reached them.

 

“Well, you didn’t know I could speak English.” Attila said, shrugging.

 

“You tricked me into thinking you couldn’t for 7 years.” Larry shot back.

 

“Oh yeah, I did, didn’t I.” Attila laughed.

 

“Hey, is that meant to be on fire?” Ahk suddenly asked.

 

They all swerved round to see one of the pastries on fire. The staff member swore and pulled it off the fire. The fire quickly died down and the staff member shot them an apologetic grin.

 

Eventually their trdelníks were ready and they left the stall, heading back to the meeting point.

 

“Next I’m going on that ride.” Jed said.

 

“I don’t think anyone wants to go on it with you.” Larry said.

 

“Fine, I’ll go on it by myself.” Jed said before Octavius shoved a piece of pastry in his mouth.

 

“You’d better get off safe, Jedediah.” Octavius sang. “Our tiger needs us.”

 

“Don’t worry, Octavius. Ol’ Jedediah ain’t going anywhere.” Jed grinned, swallowed the pastry and kissed Octavius, who giggled and squeezed the tiger even more.

 

Wea and Teddy eventually came back to the meeting point, as did Nicky, now with a bag of doughnuts.

 

“Now can I go on that ride.” Jed asked.

 

“Fine, let’s go.” Larry said as Jed whooped.

 

The finally arrived at the bungee ride and Jed shot off towards the queue. He then quickly came back to kiss Octavius again before joining it.

 

Nicky tried to bite into his doughnut but dropped it back into its bag as it was too hot to eat. Larry dropped the candy floss down to him and Nicky pulled a section off. Ahk took a bit of Attila’s trdelník and wrapped himself more up in Attila’s coat.

 

“So, what were we doing here originally, again?” Teddy asked.

 

“We’re here to-” Larry tried but was cut off by groans coming from the crowd.

 

As the crowd dispersed Jed came stomping back to them.

 

“What’s up, Jed?” Larry asked.

 

Jed grumbled something with his arms folded.

 

“What was that?”

 

“The ride broke down.” He said louder.

 

“Well, I did tell you.” Larry said as the rest of them broke into laughter.

 

“Right, come on, it’s time to go.” Jed said, turning to walk out of the fair.

 

“That’s the wrong side of the street.” Nicky called out to him. As Jed rejoined them, petting the tiger miserably, the group set off back to the van.

 

They soon reached it and go in.

 

“Yeah, you two need to go back to your actual size.” Larry said to Jed and Octavius, looking at the cramped back of the van.

 

“Ah well, being big was fun.” Jed sighed at least. Ahk gave them back their stuff and Octavius may have hit Teddy in the face getting his armour back on.

 

“You ready you too?” Ahk asked as Nicky handed him back the tablet.

 

“Hope you can just pull it off again.” Jed said.

 

“Yeah, so do I.” Ahk muttered. He messed around with the tablet as Larry started up the van. There was another bang and the two miniatures returned to being miniature.

 

“Oh, it worked again.” Ahk said happily.

 

Larry set off and Nicky turned to him.

 

“One last time,” he said. “Why are we here again?”

 

“We’re here,” Larry said, stressing each syllable now. “Because-” This time he was interrupted by the sounds of a tiger cub. And Octavius’ giddy laughter.

 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Larry said finally as the van filled up with the sounds of cooing towards the now real plush tiger.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao I hope this was actually funny but if not, hey, Octavius got a tiger out of it. I'm going to get back to working on my Star Wars AU now.
> 
> Also if I missed any phrases which should be different in American English sorry, I got stuck on what was what on the candy floss for like 20 minutes.


End file.
